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Trick Knots

by Secret Primper

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1.
Bad Habits 03:46
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I hear a crack A fidelity that’s flinching A broken back From bowing down to virtue So I’ve been cast (as a) Sherriff at my own lynching And old habits past Have slipped into the future I’d prefer to do what’s right Yeah, I’ll pick that fight But I’ve been smoking at night Ohh I’m jerkin’ knees And dubious decisions Portend defeat And may map out the difference… …Between a life Of ease or life in prison (My) mind’s out of sight Oh logic, stop this advance and Light the crevices that lurk Pay the debt I shirk Cause’ now I’m drinking at work Ohh I try hard to act serene But I’m altering routines I laugh a lot. I laugh it off I excel at nonchalant Though I fear the things I want I blow it off. Oh knock it off. I coax the truth from Words of double meaning I curse my youth My fake career’s careening Impulse blurs the dark with light And makes me think “I might” While I’m not sleeping at night Ohh
2.
Splintered 04:36
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I sketch a circle in the soil An imaginary force field Impenetrable by light and sound Can I call this real estate All mine for this moment? Can I lease this peace of mind for a spell? I see the sea gulls effortlessly (effortlessly) Teasing the laws of Newton Part of me wants to join and fly away (fly away) And part of me wants to shoot them I inhale and don’t let go I cling tight to my carbon, while I Wish my pocket watch could halt time Reluctantly I let it out, and see that God and I still aren’t speaking And no Eastern philosophy has lit my way I dig in deeper and notice carpenter ants (carpenter ants) Perlite stones and other details I feel the shifting dirt’s temperature rise (temperature rise) As it burrows beneath my toenails I’ve been using her since winter As the lever to extract me from this tar pit But I’ve leaned on that crutch so much it’s splintered I’m left alone limping toward an exit Once I tried to save someone But tripped during the rescue And cracked my own damn ribs as I fell Imagine stairs I’d tumble down And other dark comedic miscues If I ever tried to save myself
3.
Tone Deaf 04:18
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Should I ignore the rocks below And take a flip with a backwards “Geronimo”? Scraped knees will mend quickly, although My bruised ideals heal slow If you ever find the man that you’ve been impersonating Show him that I turned the scam inside out Cause’ I don’t buy the new improved You that you’re now parading Now I know to live with you is to live with doubt This flight will take more than a shove My will remains an un-charmed flower bud I can see the guilt, it’s caked on like blood (But) what’s underneath I’m most scared of If you ever want the life that you’ve been incarcerating The offer that you couldn’t bear is inside out Maybe if I come around. If I feel the fear abating I can try to get it down and live with doubt Live with doubt Straight words from your mouth Emerge as crooked as a bass clef For someone who can carry a tune Your heart’s certified tone deaf Tone Deaf Tell me if you’ve come to terms with the things you’re overrating We can give this world a turn inside out Some day when I come around. When I feel the fear abating I can try to get it down and live with doubt Live with doubt
4.
The Heartless Harlot 03:49
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All the men in this town, they share the same fever Just mention one name and they howl at the moon And it won’t take us long to make you a believer You can find her upstairs at the Lone Star Saloon Now they call her ‘Lo, though her mom named her Charlotte She learned all her tricks out behind the arcade When their hearts are rebuffed the men call her a harlot But they’ll be back next week on they day they get paid Now some would suggest an improper upraisin’ Has landed her here amongst gamblers and knaves But her “poor lonesome me” act has paid for her cottage As men always drool over damsels to save Old Rex Delaney, he made a proposal, “Come North with me” he beseeched with a wink “Oh Rexy my boy I’m still at your disposal, But I don’t like cold climes and what would your wife think?” Danny O’Toole, was a frigid first timer Now he’s penning her poetry, sending her flowers “Oh Dan” she wrote back, “I’ve no interest in courtship I’ll lend you my heart but I charge by the hour” To our fearless gal, romance is just business And she don’t need you to find a place in the sun What others call cruel, she calls independence Plus who wants a man that pays for his fun?
5.
The Allegation 02:52
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During the panel’s discreet deliberation you Pace outside in the snow, feeling weak-kneed You’re face to face with a long-ass hibernation as Your career is 30 minutes from the deep freeze The chairman spoke, he said “son you can still practice, you’re Not exactly disbarred, nor arrested” The evidence had been weak, but bad for business and Under duress you caved in and confessed it And what concerns you most about your so-called capers? Dad’s stern voice, or mom’s face on the morning that it Hits the papers? It’s just an allegation! Like “she allegedly kicks cats”, and “he allegedly doubts God” And you apparently are up shit creek now that You allegedly commit insurance fraud Pack up, sign off, and collect your severance fee Show your face back here, you won’t get past the goons At security Your friends still call and offer comforting phrases like “Do you want to talk?” and “We believe you” But behind your back you imagine them Whispering and wonderin’ if it is true Good luck shaking off your brand new reputation For the rest of your days, it’s just you against The Allegation.
6.
Revisions Ensue 03:32
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If I squint real hard I can see the physique of a welterweight Sometimes I squint so hard that my eyes close I try to trick my mind (with your memory as bait) And it starts to believe as my deceit grows That stronger arms could have held you It seems so simple as revisions ensue I scream with fingers and thumbs at the screen in front of me Sometimes I type so hard that my vowels crack As locations blur and dates are lost at sea I hide so many truths that I lose track I trimmed your chapter to a sentence or two I seduce history as revisions ensue I take a knife to my past as I rifle through it I’ve spent a fortune on white correction fluid Still, my flaws can be detected by a trained physician Some things just can’t be buried deep inside a new edition I’m conceding the fight against public opinion I guess those men in the mirror are the real me’s I’ve been peddling a war that I never had faith in, And missed chances with you, are just a cruel tease But I could change the ending or craft a new you The world’s wide open as revisions ensue
7.
Song for Dell Flannery 03:53
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In the picture you were twenty-four You’d learned to fake smiles and not to ask for more You stood alone in a prophetic pose A regal jaw-line and my father’s nose You helped your mom keep your brothers fed You were the first born and the last unwed Dell did you sense clouds overhead? You had a choice between an Irish fool Or bein’ the oldest Old Maid in the typing pool He charmed your sister, and she approved He loved the bottle in between “I Love You’s”. You saw the future but married his past Your cousins whispered “it’ll never last” If you were naïve then Dell you grew up fast Did you cry those nights you spent alone? (now you’re caught in the middle yeah you’re caught in the middle) Did he promise you a bigger life and home? (now you’re caught in the middle yeah you’re caught in the middle) If it hurt, you… If it hurt, you… Dell if it hurt, you never made it known All he left you was a scar A final send-off leaning from a cable car This, the reward for a gracious host Abandoned at the corner of Powell and Post In that apartment, you never cast blame He kept your purse, and you kept his last name I guess Dell, I might have done the same I guess Dell, I might have done the same
8.
She Tightens Knots 04:17
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Your hemline’s been creepin’ since early spring Don’t think for a moment your fanbase don’t know this Another inch will incite a local uprising I cringe as they jockey, you’re pretending not to notice I’m drawn to sleepers and odd foreign films Dusty cult classics that lost all their luster But now I’m in a role that I never thought I’d fill I’m in love with a big budget blockbuster So I wait and interpret your stares in my favor I seek bits of hope from your erratic behavior I’m taking hints like a heavyweight might take hits And I won’t stay down ‘til the ref is callin’ it quits I script conversations, and write my next joke Sensing my window is constantly shrinking I read all your authors and memorized Sparknotes All to impress you with the depth of my thinking I reach the bar early, and preview the layout Order your drink and strategically place it Your suitors make a scene and I’m watchin’ it play out You deflect affection with your magic golden bracelets I ask awkward questions just to see you sweat I gasp as a bead trickles down your neck And despite rehearsal my joke is forgotten And you’re on to the next guy you tighten a knot in
9.
Quintana Roo 05:00
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Quintana Roo We sat by the pool, mocking the tourists Each face a pawn in our game Rum flowed, and our barbs grew sharper As I tried to recall your name We skewered clothes and mis-conjugations Drink choice and enhanced body parts This cruel-minded flirtation Obscured the holes in our hearts Your spiked tongue painted an impish mood And made me glad I never got tattooed Thus was born our short-lived alliance The warm storm that you led me through We roamed the land of the Mayans From Belize to Quintana Roo We danced and drank with the locals Some nights the beach was our room One night I thought I could love you In a hammock outside Tulum We buried our ruins by the sea And disrobed virgin territories I know this is vacation from reality But I’m tempted by the scent of possibility When you’re trapped inside a postcard town It’s tough to tell your world is upside down We cursed the arc of the sundial Two misaligned misanthropes Imagined a life together Out of courtesy rather than hope We both knew the truth about the other Soon our spite could turn on one another We kissed goodbye at security Our flights only minutes apart As a test I skipped mine completely And found seats at the airport bar If you show, some’d call it destiny If you don’t I’m out a flight change fee
10.
This Collaboration 04:20
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You wizened old goat With your glories behind you I know your work note for note I guess the rumors aren’t untrue Lost your eyesight halfway through the war Lost the rest to a pert Parisian whore Now you can’t play worth a lick But your ears are still golden And your melodies stick Into all that behold them You could use my hands And I could use your name Together we’ll resuscitate Your decaying fame This collaboration born out of desperation Has potential to raise unanimous praise one day This collaboration may lead to frustration But it’s our last gasp ‘fore we slip in the past to stay I was born into wealth Learned my scales in London But I found it’s bad for my health Not keeping my tongue in My temper helped blackball my symphony My thirst for cards ate up my salary I arrived at your door And I passed my audition It didn’t hurt that your wife Liked my young disposition I spent all winter long Scoring on both sets And how the press ate up all Of our daring new duets Bridge D minor I’m up til midnight making the edits I write the parts, you get most of the credit We’re using each other but don’t really regret it I knew it wouldn’t end well By June you’d had enough of me But now my name’s beneath yours On the Palladium marquee And backwards I won’t look I pilfered your rare books And the funds will help ignite my legacy This collaboration has been my motivation To heave your shadow off my wrenched back This collaboration will bring me vindication We’ll let the public decide, who’s star will rise, and whose will fade to black.
11.
Stayin' Alive 03:43
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In case you thought this life would be an easy gig, You were sorely mistaken Despite what was taught, all the kids are still hung over From summer vacation Now all your mates prefer polite conversation And won’t talk about her But cleaning slates ain’t as easy as clickin’ Refresh on a browser And so we walk on pins to not upset a time bomb Or worse yet, create one They say that no emotion could ever be wrong Unless you offend someone. Just play along But you’re scared Cause’ the thoughts that knocked em’ dead They creep into your head Every once in a while Uh-oh An attempt at a dark stab Might land you in rehab But you’ll leave with a smile And I don’t care how you get by Just stay alive with me I can’t say I’ve been there too, or lie that I know what you’re feeling And is it right That there’s a void inside of me While my friends are reeling? And I’m no rock as you can see But if you wanna talk to me Baby here’s my number And so, we walk on pins to not upset a time bomb Or worse yet, create one They say that no emotion could be wrong Unless you offend someone, just play along with me
12.
Angry 03:48
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I see red in purple skies I’ve got a vision but opinion’s split I hand out a compromise I see both sides (and they’re) spitting on it. Come and look me in the eye! Backing down is a sign of weakness Don’t expect a flinch from me (though) I got 3 legs runnin’ in the Preakness This piece of paper’s open to interpretation (but) It costs a dollar just to join the conversation We are your children do you like your new creation? I’ve got some mind to share Don’t wanna hear how to live my life And I don’t like what you do there (So) I’ll carve my state off with a steak knife Hey Buddy can you spare an inspiration? I liked it better with the old administration No worries bout who we’re gonna be Why think when it’s easier to be angry? Bridge: (E major) I cannot advocate free acts that I don’t condone I speak in overbearing overtones This outrageous outrage is mine, so find a slant of your own Oh…… (back to C major) This paper’s open to interpretation We are your children do you like your new creation? No worrys from sea to shining sea Why think when it’s easier to be angry?

credits

released December 2, 2011

Dave Deggeller: Vocals and all instruments
Ava Hawkinson: Vocals
Art by Joe Rohman

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Secret Primper Sunnyvale, California

Secret Primper is Dave Deggeller's home recording project, and occasional real life band.

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